As I’m writing this – I’m sitting in my mess of an office… a futon mattress on the floor with pillows and sheets strewn about. My pink velvet tufted chair is shoved into the corner of the room – easier for the boys to climb on and look out the window that way. Papers are stacked on the printer, and a cheerio just crunched under my foot.
Outside of my office door – you and Chloe are taking a much needed afternoon nap while the boys sleep upstairs. (I already snagged my nap on the floor of my office while you fed the boys lunch earlier…) Around you toys are thrown literally on every square inch of our living room. Books are falling off the shelves, and our dining room chairs are once again rearranged and pushed all over the room (Micah’s favorite thing to do lately). Some extra large Amazon boxes are duct taped together in the front sunroom to make a tunnel/fort for the boys, and some new boxes are laying on the floor that you picked up yesterday intending to make them a “nicer” tunnel to play in that won’t fall over all the time. The recliners are shoved face first to the front windows so that the boys can’t climb them at the moment, and our ottoman is pushed against the wall – making more room in the center for all of us to play on the rug.
I used to be the kind of person who had to have everything in its place. I mean, to be honest – that person really is still hiding deep down somewhere inside of me – but at the moment I’ve just realized that other things matter so much more. (Well, that, and the moment I organize anything one of the boys is literally right behind me ready to pull it back to the middle of the room! haha) All the decor I bought to decorate our home sits stacked on the highest shelves, just out of reach of our ever-growing boys (each week they move up one shelf, just out of reach again – I swear!).
You are sleeping so soundly on the couch – a pillow over your head (as you like to do) and Chloe at your feet (always). I’m doing the super creepy thing where I’m watching you sleep and thinking about how lucky I am to have found you. (Err… to have been set up with you… thanks, Jess!) 🙂 I think it is a rare thing we have, and it is not easy… but it has always been more than worth it. You have this way of making me feel so very loved every minute of every day – even when I feel I can’t possibly deserve it.
You love me even when I haven’t showered in a day and am still in yesterday’s pajamas.
You love me even when I wear my old raggedy Wisconsin sweatshirt (too many days in a row).
You love me even when I forget to brush my teeth until bedtime (I know… don’t judge!)
You love me even when I snap at you out of frustration when the boys are having meltdowns.
You love me even when I’m feeling self conscious about my weird belly button and extra stomach skin post-babies.
You love me even when you’re in the middle of a grocery store run and I’m still adding things to the Wunderlist. Oops! 🙂
You love me even when I’m acting super indecisive about where we should order carryout dinner from.
You love me in so many big ways that I can’t keep track, and more importantly – you love me in all the teeny, tiny little everyday ways that make such a difference in the long run… especially when we are trying to manage a household, a business, and two busy little loves.
Our love and lives may not look tidy or organized, but I am so thankful for the mess. The mess has taught me to LET GO, to just live, and to rely on your partnership even more. Raising these boys is the hardest and most blessed work I’ve ever done, and there’s nobody I’d rather do it with than you. These first 8 years have been a whirlwind and I truly cannot wait to see what the next 8 …. 10… 40 … (and more!) have in store for us.
Yours always, Christy. xoxo
