I finished Gone Girl a couple days ago, so when the opportunity presented itself last night (a photo shoot we were supposed to be on the other side of the camera for was rescheduled) – James and I jumped at the chance to grab dinner and finally go see Gone Girl!! Man, that book/movie is SO GOOD – but SO DISTURBING. Am I right?! haha
As we walked out the movie theater James jokingly walked ahead and said, “Don’t touch me. I don’t trust you anymore. What are you going to do to me?!” lol. Obviously – it was a joke based on the crazy marriage in that movie, but it got me thinking… marriage really gets a bad rap sometimes, doesn’t it? All the stereotypes, and judgments… I just think we could all be a lot nicer to marriage now and then! 😉
Anyway, it also got me thinking about our marriage, and about James. It got me thinking about how when I got married (in retrospect) I was soooo naive. I had all these expectations about what marriage was going to be and for the most part – I was totally wrong and really had no idea. I realize James and I have only been married 5 years, but we’ve already learned SO much in that time and grown closer than we ever were before – which is really crazy, because I remember thinking on our wedding day that I didn’t think it was possible to love him more than I did on that day. Ha!
I see little old couples shuffling hand in hand on their way to the car after dinner out and I get all kinds of choked up imagining James and I as a little old couple – still holding hands and going out to dinner & movie date nights. I can only imagine all we will have been through by then, and can only imagine how much more I’ll love him down the road. I’m sure I’ll look back on my 33-year-old, 5-year-married self and think, “I was so naive! I thought I loved him the most then!” haha
So, in the spirit of giving marriage a better rap after watching Gone Girl, and telling my husband some things I don’t always take the time to tell him – I give you, “10 Things I Love About James” (because I think you all should know this stuff too… haha)!
1. You always make me smile. I know I act like I hate it when I’m trying to be angry/pouty/whatever – but when I think about you and think about our marriage – I always think of laughter and smiles. Really. And that’s a very good thing.
2. You’re a giant kid – not just a kid at heart – but seriously a giant kid! haha. You never take life too seriously and always manage to have so. much. fun. Because of this – kids LOVE YOU immediately when they meet you! You talk to them like normal human beings and equals (which they aren’t always used to and clearly love), and are instantly drawn to you… peppering you with questions and following you around like little puppy dogs (we’ll get to dogs in a minute). It is a really amazing thing to watch, honestly. It warms my heart and gets me even more excited to see you with our own kids someday.
3. You made me into a dog person, and I am forever indebted to you for that!!! I still can’t believe I ever said “I’m not a dog person” on one of our first dates! haha. Loving dogs (& having them love me in return) has made my life exponentially better, and taught me more about myself and about life than I ever expected. Thank you for sharing that with me.
4. You work so hard. People don’t see all the behind the scenes stuff around here… how our life and business keep moving… but I do. And I am well aware that I am only where I am because I had you by my side to help me get here. You work so hard for our little family, for our business, and to better yourself! Many people don’t realize this – but on top of all this business running/photography stuff – James is in school to finish his undergraduate degree that he never finished when he was younger. He doesn’t need it, and he doesn’t plan to get a job with that degree after school – but he just WANTS to do it to better himself, and to earn that degree. He comes home after we’ve shot a wedding all day and does homework, takes exams, and writes papers. It blows my mind and I know I could never do it at this stage in my life. But James never complains – he just keeps on moving forward!
5. You put me at ease, and deal with all my oddities & quirks. You are such a good balance to my wound-up, type-A self, and help me see the bigger picture. When I was laying splayed out on our living room floor in the middle of a full on anxiety attack, looking like the chalk drawn outline of a crime scene – you somehow made me laugh. You listened to all my wild and crazy thoughts and didn’t judge me for them – you made me feel human and loved. Thank you.
6. Speaking of that… you take care of me. Whatever it is you (almost always) say “yes”, and help me with whatever it is I need. You make me tea, you run me a bath, you take out Chloe when I’m too busy to deal with it, you take care of the car, you bring home dinner when you know there is no way I’m getting dinner on the table tonight… without me ever having to say it. When we are on our way to weddings and I inevitably start getting nervous and anxious, you reach across the car and squeeze the pressure points in my hand to calm me. You know me so well and go out of your way to make sure I know I am cared for.
7. You’re intelligent in such an intriguing way!! Seriously. You’re “life smart” (as I like to call it – haha) and book smart. You’ve been through so much in life (many things I can’t wrap my head around or understand fully), and so your perspective on things is unique and different than anyone else I’ve ever talked to. You have such interesting thoughts and ideas about life – and even though we occasionally butt heads over some of it – I always respect what you have to say and appreciate our discussions because they get me thinking more about how I feel about something in ways I didn’t realize or think about before. All of these things also make traveling awesome with you – talking, exploring, learning, and talking a lot more.
8. You are humble and confident, in a way that inspires me to be more sure of myself and to see my own strengths and capabilities. You believe in yourself and yet don’t ever for one second think you are better than any other person. You give everyone the time of day and respect everybody as equals, while also trusting and believing in yourself. In turn, you trust and believe in me and it has helped me move further in my life and dreams than I really ever thought was possible… and helped me do things I thought I was too scared to do.
9. You treat everybody we interact with throughout the day so well, and that is one of the things that stood out about you when I first met you. You treat waitstaff so well (a tell tale sign of the kind of person someone is, if you ask me!), and get to know people’s names and stories if you see them regularly…. from cashiers, to waiters, to front desk workers at the gym. It really blows my mind. I tend to smile and walk on, afraid to open up or talk to new people – and you – you go right for it! You surprise people with your interest in them and make people’s days on a regular basis by treating them like humans, not just someone serving you at their job.
10. You are handsome. I’m sorry, I had to get superficial here for a minute! haha. Those gorgeous eyes and long lashes, your perfectly golden skin, and those freckles!! Mr. Tyler, you are nice to look at every single day, and I’m so thankful I get to wake up next to you, and chase dreams with you day in and day out – for all the reasons above (not just because you’re cute). You make life incredibly more interesting, and definitely way more fun – than it would ever be without you. Thanks for being my partner, my inspiration, my best friend, and my love.
Yours always, Christy xoxo
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Photos under #1 & #5 by Caroline Ghetes. The rest are from our personal collection.
