Remember when I wrote THIS POST about all the things I’ve learned over the past couple years… especially regarding work/life balance? Well, I’m trying really hard lately to not be too hard on myself (Number 8), but I’ve kind of been failing big time at it this past month (ironically, pretty much since I wrote that post).
October was a crazy month for us around here and as hard as I tried to stay balanced – late nights inevitably crept in (still not as late as last year… think 8-9pm instead of 1-2am… but still past my scheduled office hours), and days off turned into work days (albeit more low-key than normal work days – but still not a REAL day off or much quality time with James). Last week James even scheduled a date night for us to head out to an Ethiopian restaurant (upon my suggestion) and I ended up asking him if we could cancel our reservations and do it another time because I was so exhausted I couldn’t fathom leaving the house that night.
It got to the point where James and I were really only talking about work to-do lists, and were only getting to spend time together when we were shooting weddings (and that sure does not count for quality time since we’re both in the work zone). I can tell when we start to get like this because we could be in the same house, room, car, or couch even – and it still feels like we are miles apart. I mentioned this to James and asked him if he was mad at me about something and his response was, “I’m not mad at you… I just don’t KNOW you.”
And so we tried to remedy that by spending time together Saturday night after our wedding, but a few weeks of feeling distance can’t be fixed with a couple hours of hanging out. So I’m making a conscious decision to be better and do better the rest of this wedding season. We are almost there – and I know I can give more of myself to James and be more balanced overall. (And our crazy schedule of 4 weddings in 10 days is over, so that helps. With twice the work and half the time to do it – staying balanced can be TOUGH.) We only have a few busy weeks left, and then I have a couple weeks I set aside as “office WEEKS” so I can get caught up on everything before we head to Hawaii in a month for our final wedding of the year… so it is definitely possible!
But enough talking about it. As of today I’m wiping the slate clean. I’m showing myself grace, knowing I will try harder from this point on.
Here’s to a new day and another chance.