So, this one time… I put in my 3-week’s notice at my day job.
This one time – was yesterday.
I KNOOOWWWWW! CRAZY. CRAZY. CRAZY… I am still digesting it!!! (FYI: 3-weeks happens to coincide with my final deadline for things I’m currently responsible for at work, and it also happens to be the day after my 30th birthday… so I thought it was a good time to make the transition, yes?)
Where exactly do I begin with this story? I guess there really is no beginning. This was a decision I’ve been thinking about for quite a while (as you all know). I’ve been working to get to this point with my business for years – and I didn’t think I was there yet – so I put it off, and I put it off. Then I made the announcement that I was going part-time at my day job (which I thoroughly intended to do at the time), and that felt like enough. And then I got myself sick from not getting enough rest very early into busy season, which made me realize this was going to be a lot harder than I thought. Because, as it turns out, going part-time meant less time in the office – but it did not mean any less stress. I still was going to have the same amount of responsibilities and the same amount of work, I was just going to have less time to do it. And considering I was already insanely overwhelmed as a full-timer – the thought of going part-time did not make me feel better. Things were getting to the point where I was feeling physically ill at work because I was so completely stressed – but honestly I didn’t realize that was why I wasn’t feeling well. I thought it was just the overall stress of everything – from being busy in all aspects of my life – but I was wrong. Because yesterday almost immediately after I gave my notice – I felt as if a million pounds had been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in longer than I can remember – I felt no tension in my back, and no pains in my stomach. I could breathe deeply.
And at that moment – I knew I had made the right decision.
Things will be tight for us, I’m not going to lie. (I’m the primary bread-winner in our family with James in school full-time… which means our business doesn’t just have to contribute to the bills, it has to pay.the.bills.) Working for ourselves will be no cake walk (as I’ve talked about before). Working for ourselves will mean busting our butts, and doing all we can to bring in enough money for us to meet our monthly (personal & business) expenses. I am aware it will not be easy. But I finally got to the point of exhaustion, and stress, and wondering who on earth I was (because I no longer felt like myself), that I would rather pinch pennies and be happy – than have a comfortable amount of money and be stressed to the point of making myself sick.
I must admit – I’m a perfectionist (shocking, I know) – which means I only do things when all the plans are in place, when all my ducks are in a row, when I feel completely and totally prepared. That means I don’t usually take leaps of faith. I tend to take the safe route, and I’m really not big on change. So as I stood on the edge of this decision (that I literally made yesterday morning on the commute to work – while on the verge of feeling like I might cry or throw up, or both) I was completely scared out of my mind: scared of the unknown, scared of how we may pay our bills come wintertime, scared of failing, scared of making a fool of myself… but I knew I had to do it anyway. For once I wasn’t taking the safe route – I was taking a leap of faith.
And it – felt – amazing.
(For some reason this picture feels like it goes with this post to me… I’m not sure why. Maybe it has something to do with taking a big, huge breath and jumping into water that feels similar to this moment in my life. That, and it’s one of the only underwater disposable camera pictures from our trip to Noah’s Ark that even slightly turned out & I wanted to share! haha!)
**So now what? Now you all should run out and tell everybody you know about me!! haha. 🙂 Because, well, I have a sense of urgency about needing to book sessions and weddings like I’ve never had before. Babies, newborns, kids, families, weddings, senior portraits… I’m your girl!! Send them my way!!! 😉