I sit here in front of my computer – a million thoughts pouring through my mind that I can’t seem to formulate into something I feel would be adequate.
I want to tell you about my Grandma… but I can’t seem to find the words.
I want you to understand what an amazing human being she was… what a strong woman she was. I want you to taste her homemade spaghetti, and feel the wetness of her sloppy kisses on your cheek. I want you to hear her laugh and be amazed by her quick, witty comebacks. I want you to sit on her sofa and chat with her about what’s new in town. I want you to experience her love… her – expect nothing in return, accept all people as they are, wish nothing but happiness for you – love.
I want you to play charades with her and laugh until your sides hurt at her attempt to act out “flirting.” I want you to sit in her kitchen and enjoy some fresh raspberries from her backyard that are still slightly warm from the sun beating down on them.
I want you to hear her tell the stories of her life… stories about how she and Grandpa didn’t have a refrigerator when they first got married so they had to keep their food out on the windowsill to keep it cold. I want you to see her humbleness first hand when you realize she somehow neglected during all this story-telling to ever tell you that she was valedictorian of her class, that she was good at sports, or that she was an incredibly talented painter.
All of these moments with her pass in and out of my mind throughout the day. They are triggered by something someone says… by those vanilla cookies with chocolate stripes on top and a hole in the middle… by tulips… by rosaries… by the smell of thanksgiving dinner…
I think of my Grandma as I make decisions in my life… big decisions – like what I should pursue and remembering what truly makes me happy… and seemingly little decisions – like what to say to that store clerk to make them smile, or whether or not I should go back to making something in the kitchen so the Packers can go back to winning (because, you know, they were doing better when I was in the kitchen).
I think about her constantly, but I’m especially thinking about her today…
Today wish I could stop by her house, give her a hug and a kiss, and say –
Happy Birthday Grandma.