I really can’t believe another week has flown by already?! Time is moving at warp speed and I could use an extra day just to sleep if anybody has one to loan me??? 😉 In all honesty though, while last week was a bit of an emotional roller coaster as I adjusted to the “new normal” – this week was much more physically exhausting. I felt pretty even keeled emotionally, but was starting to feel the wear and exhaustion on my body. My ovaries are definitely kickin’ – and I have felt much more limited in what I can do, and even how fast I can walk. (I’m normally one serious speed walker!)
(Pictures left to right: My favorite way to dye Easter eggs – by spinning them in oil!! And all the eggs felt really appropriate given this process! || James & our friend, Erin, took more enjoyable shots before the National Championship game, while I took my 3 not-so-fun versions! || This waiting room is my new living room.)
Since I updated you on the blog last Friday – I’ve given myself 13 shots, and been to the doctor for ultrasound & blood work early morning on Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday. $300 worth of insurance co-pays later, many hours spent in the car, and way too many days requiring I use an alarm clock again – we’ve finally made it!! Today is the day!! Egg retrieval!! We head in to the doctor at 7am, and I’ll be sedated and the procedure will be relatively quick (around 30 minutes)… while recovery requires bed rest for two days following the procedure while my ovaries heal.
It came much sooner than anticipated, as I’d heard from most people who have gone through this that they were on injectable meds for usually close to two weeks, while I was only on them for 7 days. My body responded to the meds much more quickly than we thought they would and as such – we are ready to roll right into the next step! (And seriously, you could probably roll me at this point – I’m feeling so crazy bloated!)
For the first time on Wednesday when we found out we were moving on to the next step – James and I actually got excited for a bit. It was a weird feeling – to be excited about all of this craziness. Prior to that we had a conversation wondering if it was weird that neither of us was really feeling anything about this IVF cycle. I honestly wasn’t aching for a baby like I have in the past, and I really generally felt numb. I wasn’t envisioning any outcomes – and instead was just going step by step through all the protocols required by the doctor. It was kind of worrisome, to be honest. I started to wonder if I didn’t really care anymore? If I didn’t want to be a mom as much as I used to? If all these failures and disappointments had made me numb to any emotion…
But then the excitement set in and I felt hopeful again…. which was immediately followed by worrying that my hopes would be crushed again. Worrying that maybe it was better to not feel anything than to get too excited about it all. Right now I’m sitting somewhere in the middle of both of those emotions. I’m ready for this next step. I’m ready for my ovaries to not be the size of tennis balls anymore, and ready to move forward – whatever the outcome may be.
So here we go! Egg retrieval! After this they tell us how many eggs they were able to get… how many are mature enough to move on to the next step – fertilization… and from there we’ll monitor the embryos that are formed and figure out if any of them are good enough to transfer. Meanwhile, we’ll be seeing how my body responds to everything and if it comes back down to a place where it would be safe to do an embryo transfer. If not, then we hopefully would have embryos to freeze and do a frozen embryo transfer (FET) another month instead.
For now I’m just praying the procedure goes well – that we get some good eggs out of it, and even more so – that we get great quality embryos. And of course – praying that my body responds and heals well. I’m ready to move forward, and be able to get back on a regular schedule with life and work. We are so thankful to have the flexibility we do with our business and that I’m able to mold my work days to account for all these crazy appointments!
And of course – as always – thank you all a million times over for your support and love. The wonderful people and clients we are blessed to have in our lives never ceases to amaze me. xoxo
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